Jared had a complex partial seizure on Thursday night. Thank god it wasn't a grand mal. But it still just pushed me to the breaking point. I was happy he spent yesterday with his family. So I got drunk and balled my eyes out.

But today feels good. We drove up to Estes Park just for the singular purpose of going to this incredible ice cream place. I had bubble gum. Om nom nom.

Now I'm going to go experiment with  making a bento box.                           
 

 

He got the exact idea from this GIF. But Jared did it better. 
 

He's on been home from the hospital for a few days so I'm surprised he had the energy. 

The whole thing took seriously 10 minutes and then he went back to sleep. (and I took a shower)

I was leaning over the bathroom counter completely spaced out and waiting on my bacon to cook. (of course) Then he came up and smacked me in the ass. Then hit me in the face with a chocolate silk pie. I turned around to kick his ass. Only to see him down on one knee and saying he wanted his last words to be telling me he loved me. And that he was scared that those last words would of been on monday. Then he cried and I cried with a face full and a mouth full of chocolate pie. Said yes. Then he said he was going back to bed and would be nice to me tomorrow. And is now asleep.  I would not expect anything less from king trickster.

He tricked me into thinking we were doing something romantic and sweet tomorrow. But this isn't really surprised given how we met. We were 4 and he threw a block at my head and I punched him in the face. Then in time out he said I wasn't bad.

Oh and my bacon burned.

 

Jared is back in the hospital after having 3 seizures in a row on Monday night. He's going to be ok. But he has to stay there for awhile. I spent the night there last night and I am fucking exhausted right now. It's been a long couple of weeks with this. First with the stomach surgery and then the week he spent in the hospital from that. Then the week at home where he was out of it and sleeping all the time. Now the seizures and he's back in the hospital. 

I'm exhausted and I feel like crying all the time. I'm forcing myself to stay home tonight instead of staying at the hospital again. I know I need the sleep and to just take it easy for the first time in 2 and 1/2 weeks. It really is the first night I've spent in my bed alone without first staying at the hospital until midnight. So as guilty as I feel for not being with him and as worried as I am about him. It feels good to be sleeping in my bed and able to stretch out.

Then I managed to go out for a run earlier. There's many nice things about living near trails. I don't have to drive to go running in the mountains. I don't have to worry about traffic. But there are some things about trails that I really dislike. Such as the lack of bathrooms. I'm usually smart and go before I leave the house. But some people aren't so smart and then have to pop a squat a long the way. And if you know anything about me then you know my massive huge trauma related phobia of #2. Well I also have dogs that I go running with. 

Yeah combine those things. You get dog rolling in someone elses p*p and then me having a panic attack on the side of the trail. Then calling my dad to come get me because I couldn't deal with the p*p covered dog. Not to mention some asshole who came by and told me to stop being such a baby just take the dog home and give it a bath.

Yeah I'm glad to be home. Drinking some wine and about to take an ambien.